


Not Broken, Just Bent

by Wordprism



Category: X-Men (Comicverse), X-Men (Movies), X-Men (Movieverse), X-Men - All Media Types
Genre: Character Death, Fables - Freeform, Family Feels, Fix-It, M/M, Working Out My Feelings Through Fic, laser tears, lots of blood
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-21
Updated: 2014-02-21
Packaged: 2018-01-13 07:01:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,039
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1216945
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wordprism/pseuds/Wordprism
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Scott decides he no longer has an answer for the problems he faces, from his field life to his married life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts).



Scott sat in the middle of his bedroom- no, _their_ bedroom, on his knees.  Scattered around him were photo albums and childhood memorabilia.  It seemed like so long ago that he first arrived here, which he was unable to stop remembering as he held the classic yellow and black uniform in his hands, rubbing the fabric with his thumb.  He set it to the side and placed his hands on his knees with an uneasy sigh.  He had no idea what he was trying to do.

                He hadn’t had a legitimate conversation with his husband in over a month.  Scott was clueless as to why, but Logan just seemed so angry lately.  He was always mad at Scott, but never told him why.  He got annoyed, stormed off, and left his ruby-eyed husband in confusion almost every other day.  And it was getting worse.  What was so bad about trying to fix things between them?  All Scott could remember was his fruitless attempts to get Logan to smile for him one more time.  He had tried everything.  In fact, he hadn’t even been fully nude in front of Logan for more than a few weeks now.  It was beginning to frighten him.  Usually they slept side by side, facing each other, or with Scott’s back to Logan’s chest.  Now, sleeping in the same bed seemed to prove a challenge.

                Scott didn’t want it to keep getting worse.  He wanted Logan to try and listen to him.  Just once.   He didn’t know if Logan was hiding something, or if he was just going horribly insane.  For months Scott had tried to fix it, and now he had no more alternatives.  He had used to say there was no such thing such as Plan A or Plan B, because that implies there are only twenty-six options.  Yet here he was, minus a plan.  On top of that, the rest of his family wanted nothing to do with him since his acquiring of the Phoenix and splitting off into the Uncanny X-Men.   He tried to see their reasoning, what made them feel so much hate and disapproval.  The sad reality was, Scott, for the first time in his life, just didn’t understand.  It seemed the world would actually be a nice place to live if it weren’t for him.   Turning his head towards the door, Scott wondered where Logan was at.

                He was probably downstairs playing with their infant daughter.  She was Logan’s pride and joy, which Scott adored, but recently she had served as an escape for Logan so that the couple didn’t have to interact.  It didn’t matter, though, because Scott had already kissed each of his children goodbye.  He wasn’t known for being a great father, no matter how hard he tried to prove himself.

                With a shaky hand, Scott brushed his fingertips over each of the objects he had grabbed from downstairs.  There was a small steak knife, a larger kitchen knife, and one of Logan’s samurai swords he had brought back from Japan.  Scott had no idea what to do at this point, but he figured the bigger the better.  With a deep breath, he unsheathed the Japanese sword and held it with two hands.  Its once mesmerizing glint as light reflected from it now seemed cold, intimidating, and just plain terrifying.  It didn’t have the same beauty as when Logan practiced with it. Plus, he probably wouldn’t be too happy if his favorite weapon besides his claws got blood all over it.  He dropped the sword almost immediately.  _Too big. Too scary. I’ll try a different one._

                If he wanted to do this right, the kitchen knife would be the bare minimum.  Even closing his eyes, he could almost see his own hands turning the blade around to face him.  He would do it quick.  That way, there would be no more fighting.  His husband wouldn’t have to deal with Scott’s so-called antics, nor would their children have to grow up with someone who tried desperately to do the right thing, but never managed to stay standing.   _This is for the best,_ he thought in attempt to convince himself.  _Now stop procrastinating and get it overwith._

                His mind wouldn’t allow him to bring the blade any closer.  _It’s not selfish, Scott.  Look what you cause.  You’ve got a whole world at war and you’re teaching the man you love how to hate you.  End it before all he can remember is how much he despised you.  He told you it was your antics that made him upset.  He never said what you did, really, but obviously if the entire world hates you you’re doing something wrong.  Standing up for yourself against the world can’t mean you have any sense of what’s right.  Usually it’s good to go against the crowd, but this time? No, no… everyone hates you.  They want you dead.  So save yourself your dignity and do it before someone else can.  Not like anyone’s gonna’ miss you. So do it now.  One, two, three…_

                He began to bring the knife closer, but stopped right before it touched his body.  He couldn’t do it.  _You can kill other people but not yourself? You really are weak.  Have you even noticed how often you cry behind closed doors?  Is that normal?_   _Come on.  Remember when you said your vows and promised forever?  Forever doesn’t mean staying together until you hate each other.  It means letting him remember you forever for the goodness in your heart.  Not staying here so you get more chances to screw up.  Besides, how hard can it be to die?  Just say goodbye and let it go… Once you go, there’s no guilt._ Unable to stand his own thoughts anymore, Scott pushed the blade in his direction so that it pierced his abdomen about an inch deep.  He hadn’t realized how hard flesh was to cut through.  The blood was already spilling onto the floor as it drenched his legs, and he was still alive.  _No! You need to go harder than that, idiot!_ “But I-… I can’t.  It h-hurts,” he choked out loud in a panicked whisper.  Squeezing his eyes shut tight, the mutant drove the knife in in slow wedges, until the handle was touching skin.  Something broke open inside him, but he wasn’t sure what.  In order to release the blood, Scott tore the knife out of himself and dropped it on the floor beside him.  Everything around him was painted red, which he noticed as he felt the burning of the small tattoo of a name on his thigh, so luckily he had left a few photo albums up on the table to stay dry. 

                The blood loss felt like a tidal wave.  It seemed to drain through his head, his legs, his heart, before reaching the gaping wound and spurting out like a fountain.  He didn’t know the human body carried that much blood.  It didn’t seem possible.  But it gave him the opportunity to watch his life flash before his eyes.

_A doctor’s visit.  An MRI. A plane crash.  A coma.  A horrible guardian.  A rescue.  A man named Charles and a school for people who didn’t quite fit in.  The rollercoaster of teen years.  A man named Logan Howlett.  A kiss in the middle of the night.  A relationship. Conquering nightmares.  A baby.  A wedding. A honeymoon in Canada.  Two more babies.  Lovemaking. Singing.   Phoenix.  Psychotic rampages.  Nobody understood.  Pointless fighting.  Trying and failing to fix it.  Trying again and failing again.  Growing hate.  One last gesture of love before the walls crumbled in on themselves.  One more kiss goodbye, but you didn’t know it would be the last.  Otherwise you wouldn’t have let me go.  Thank you for everything you’ve given to me.  It was the best time of my life.  But now, my heart can’t keep me alive, never mind love a man who needs more than I can provide. I’ll try harder in the next life, I promise.  I’ll be a better man for you, but here I finally realized I’m just not capable of that.  Tell my babies I love them every day they open their little eyes, and you know that too.  But for now, this is goodbye, brown eyes.  I love you._

After his mind flashed back, Scott was left in reality once more.  The blood was now drenching his body and everything around him.   It was only a matter of moments before he was on his back, minus a thinking mind, breathing lungs, or a beating heart.

                About one hour later, Logan walked up the stairs to take a shower.  He really wasn’t in the mood to talk to his husband, so he would probably just go to the guest bathroom down the hall.  His nose scrunched up when he caught the scent of blood.  It was coming from his bedroom.  “Scott?” He asked, knocking with his knuckle lightly on the door.  No answer.  Just the smell of an unreal amount of blood.  When he swung the door open to find his lover long dead on the floor of their bedroom, Logan had to turn away immediately.  He had torn people open himself, but this was something he could never unsee or forget the feeling of.  The next few minutes were filled with tortured screams, shaking of the dead body as if it would come back to life, kissing of the dead lips that still seemed so innocent, the crying of tears that burned the skin, and the solving of problems and arguments that should have been fixed earlier.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This little bit is for my Logan, who is all Scotty could ever want.

Scott woke to the sound of his heart racing, the pounding thumping in his head and causing him to sit up and yell at the top of his lungs.  There was blood, blood everywhere.  He had killed himself on the bedroom floor without a proper goodbye.  He hadn't even left a damn note for his husband.

Logan's instincts caused him to spring up almost instantly, his eyes wide with shock as he found his lover screaming for mercy.  "Scott... Scott what the hell is going on?!" he pleaded while holding Scott's shoulders and motioning for his husband to breathe.

"G-god I'm... I'm so sorry..."  Scott automatically pressed his face onto Logan's chest by natural reflex, his glasses pressing onto his nose and leaving a mark.  "I s-swear I'd never... I wouldn't ever leave or... or take my own life or..."

"I know, I know.  Calm down, Sugar."   When it came down to reality, Logan was more than Scott could ever dream of asking for.  Sure, he got pissy sometimes.  He had an unpredictable temper that actually left Scott a little shaky at times.  But nothing could compare to the feel of his warm lips dancing along Scott's skin.  Logan was a lover with a golden heart, as much as he hated to admit it to himself.  He and Scott had somehow managed to combine their chemistry to free themselves from nightmares, whether it be torture chambers or abusive pasts that tormented them in their dreams.  The couple hadn't been as strong as either of them would have liked right now, but they both strived for improvement.  From Scott's blue eyes to Logan's greenish brown, there was a connection.  It was one of the many threads of their relationship, but this thread challenged Logan's adamantium skeleton when it came to durability.  "Just take a breather, then tell me what happened."

Scott began once he was able to regain his breath.  He spoke slowly and in detail, and without another word after, watched as Logan reassured him.  The feral wrapped his arms protectively around his husband and murmured, "Don't you dare believe I'd let that happen for even a second, Sugar.  I love you too damn much.  Besides, who else would I wanna' see waking up in the morning?"

"Well I wouldn't want to kill you if I opened my eyes by accident."

"Kill  _me_? And I thought I was the crazy one."

Scott laughed through his nervous panic and buried his face on Logan's shoulder while closing his eyes, feeling the familiar smile of a man who was head over heels in love finding its way onto his lips.


End file.
